Hawaii, the Big Island – Part 12
Hawaii: The Final Day…
Well there really wasn’t much going on the final day. We had plenty of time for a light breakfast, getting everything packed, checking to make sure we weren’t leaving anything behind, and enjoying the lanai for the final time. The last exercise was accompanied by the occasional sigh.
The rental returns went smoothly, and then there was the KOA airport check-in, which was an interesting exercise. Let’s see if I can get the order right. The whole process took place in a covered, wall-less check-in area, which was nice.
First, we walk through a USDA agricultural inspection station, complete with x-ray luggage scanner. Once we are categorized as Not Wicked Smugglers of Pineapples our luggage is tagged with appropriate Official Stickers. We’re then allowed to go to the United check-in counter where they give us our boarding passes and tag our luggage which is to be checked. They don’t take the luggage at this counter though, we have to navigate a short, twisting labyrinth path (follow the arrows on the floor) to the TSA luggage scanners where any nefarious non-fruit items will perhaps be identified.
The TSA scanner step was a little different. In most airports this part happens behind the scenes, after you’ve checked your luggage at the airline counter and a little conveyor belt usually carries it away. Once it vanished I always just assumed the TSA people looked for easy items to pilfer before giving it to the gorillas who load the planes. Here you watch it all go through what looked to be the same sort of scanner they use for carry-on luggage.
Since my bag was locked with a no-pilfering-please lock as it always is, the TSA guy that loaded the machine said that I should wait and see if they wanted to inspect the bag so that I could provide the key, so they wouldn’t have to cut the lock off. I thought it was nice to have this process be transparent and open. In any event all of our bags passed through without creating any National Security incidents and we were then free to proceed to the last step before we would be permitted to actually enter the passenger area.
Now we continued along the maze, backtracking again and reaching the next TSA scanner complex, this one for ourselves and carry-on luggage, oh and of course shoes. First a young TSA guy with an earring inspected our papers und zey ver found to be in order und ve may proceed. Next we had to get out the laptops, take off shoes and belts, empty the Evil and Most Dangerous Loose Change from our pockets, and put everything into bins so that it could be scanned. Apparently the mass of cables, wires, battery cells, and random small electronic devices in my bag were of no concern, but I imagine that if there had been anything embarrassing and of an adult nature in there they surely would have singled the bag out for further inspection and giggling.
I kid about the TSA etc., but really WHAT were they thinking with this 1984-esque poster that would have warmed the icy hearts of the Third Reich overlords?
The luggage sailed though with no problem, then I had to walk through the metal detector followed by Allison, who clearly could be a very, very small Terminator cyborg of some kind. How I was might be smuggling metallic hijacking weapons on a 38-pound little girl in a light dress was beyond me. Despite my reservations about the whole process – which I assure you I kept to myself – we all made it through fine and everyone involved was polite and friendly.
Once inside the open-air passenger area we had about a half hour or more before our gate would open and boarding could begin sometime after. I decided to pass the time by first perusing the gift shop, which lasted about thirty seconds. I then broke out my camera and took a few photos, and then resigned to just hanging out until we got on the plane. Oddly enough, when the female contingent of our traveling party went into that same gift shop, they didn’t emerge for what seemed like five hours.
Comfortable open-air passenger area at KOA.
Eventually our gate opened up and the boarding began. As there seems to be at almost every aircraft boarding, there was the obligatory self-important couple that tried to barge their way onto the plane immediately, despite the call for first-class passengers and those needing assistance ONLY. And as often is the case with inconsiderate and rude people, I was left wondering if they were genuinely totally clueless or just trying to get their way, and damn those selfish crippled people anyway.
Boarding was pretty straightforward, although just short of our seats everyone was halted while a couple played musical seats and arranged all of their items to their satisfaction while the backed-up like going out the plane waited for them. When an older member of their party suggested that they finish settling in later and let the people holding heavy bags and children pass them, he was angrily told by the husband to be quiet. It’s amazing how the Astonishingly Rude can bring a full aircraft of otherwise normal people (Early Boarding Couple notwithstanding) to a complete standstill, and not care in the slightest. (Yes, I’m talking about you, on United Flight 0052 to SFO. Don’t try to pretend I couldn’t possibly mean you!)
The return flight was pretty uneventful. There was a movie but it looked exceptionally bad (and I later saw people mocking it on Twitter.) I was again glad to have my book with me, because it had turned out to be very good. I was almost able to finish it on the flight.
It was interesting to note that since our flight to Hawaii a week ago, United had adopted a policy of no longer accepting cash for food or snacks. This was a total surprise, and I was glad we had credit cards because we weren’t landing until 9pm, and we’d only had a very light breakfast and no lunch. As it was, we were able to buy our meals, which were fine, and stave off any stomach growling embarrassment.
Our waitresses on both flights were cheerful and professional, and happily there were no issues of any kind on our flights other than a little minor turbulence here and there. We landed at SFO, eventually retrieved our checked luggage and found the shuttle back to the Jeep in long-term parking. We arrived home at perhaps 10:30pm, although still on Hawaiian time (3 hours earlier) and full of restless energy. Back to reality! A few very rough weeks lay ahead, but we were still smiling from the trip which was still fresh in our heads.
A final gallery will conclude this portion of our program…